FOUL BALL!

Old Bay, MD—The struggling Crabballs are apparently set to announce a major roster shift at this weekends news conference. Crawling sideways along the bottom of their division in the VBL all season has led to a major shake up. Rumor has it that owner B. Smelly is tired of the odor surrounding his team’s performance and is ready to yank up one of the Crabs.

All eyes are on Willie Daze, as his performance the last few years has not matched his salary. Willie was quite a catch in his day but his swing hasn’t been there ever since a pitch dubbed the “wooden mallet” by opposing pitcher Al Yucaneat cracked his head. Willie has been the star of the team, with a jumbo contract, after rising up from the obscurity of the Bushel League four years ago.

The rumored signing of the Cuban powerhouse Jose Constriko would allow the Crabballs to climb out of the bottom of the barrel. Constriko has become “the best all around Virtual Ball player of our time”. He accidentally defected as Cuban Circus worker, when in fact he was just looking for the Men’s Room.

Willie or won’t he be around. Pressure is building here at Kettle Stadium as we await the expected news conference this coming Friday or Saturday. Some say that the event will be held at the historic Blair Mansion Inn in Silver Spring due to the important nature of the announcement to the fans. Many of the young local Crabballs fanatics are saying this expected move is sure to be a home run, others faithful to Willie are screaming…

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